Freddy the Fish Visits the North Pole

One day, Freddy the fish decided that he needed a vacation from all of that nice tropical water that he lived in, so he thought that he should take a trip to the North Pole. He knew it would be a long way to go, so he asked Pirate Jill to help him get there. I don't understand why he'd do that, though, because Pirate Jill is, more often than not, under the influence of one or more illicit substances. Lucky for Freddy, this was one of her good days.
"So, you want to get to the North Pole, right? Which way is that?"
"Uhh...north?" Freddy responded. If this was one of her good days, he didn't want to know how the other ones went.
"Well, let's see. I think that means you will need an octopus and a catapult in case you need to climb the rigging of the ship. You have a ship, right? If you don't, then you need a ship. I used to have a ship once, but then I lost it when I went berry-picking. Ship is a funny word, isn't it? C'mon! Say it with me! Shhhhhhhhhh...shhhhhhhip.Ship."
"Nope, I don't have one. Do you think Pirate Pete will let us borrow his?"
"NO WAY! After you tricked him out of all that toast? I don't think so. We'll have to steal it."
Pirate Jill and Freddy drove up in their Pinto to the Arbor Day Harbor and cut the boat from the dock. Unfortunately, because Jill was running the show, they forgot to get in the boat first, so it sailed away without them. To make matters worse, Pirate Pete was standing right there, and he, too, remembered the three pieces of toast Freddy hadn't given him.
"Argh, m'hearty! You're lucky I don't charge interest on the toast you still owe me. I think I will take you to medium claims court since the boat is too big for small claims but too small for supreme court," an outraged Pirate Pete yelled.
I think at this point in the story, Jill has now sobered up from whatever it was she was using because she essentially tricks Pete into taking them all to the North Pole.
" Now, Pete, I know you're upset, so to get the most money, I think you should definitely try the justice system at the North Pole. I hear that the plantiff has always gotten way more than they wanted. Too bad Freddy and I don't have enough money to fly there..."
"Hmmm... That seems like a reasonable idea. I will take us all up to the North Pole and take you both for every penny you have!"
Once they got there, Jill and Freddy ran away, and once again, Pirate Pete was an old, cold, hungry scalliwag.
The End