Top 10 Reasons to Live Underground

1. No one gets to be the boss of you because no one else lives underground yet (subways don't count).
2. You're allergic to UV light or SPF (the latter for me).
3. You won't get hit by lightning.
4.Moss is one of your favorite things to eat.
5. Also, fungi.
6. There is an unlimited supply of rocks.
7. You can make all the mud pies you want.
8.You've always wanted to be a hermit.
9. Money is stupid. Rocks are better.
10. No sunburns.

Freddy the Fish Goes to the Carnival (A Cautionary Tale)

Freddy the Fish, happy as can be,
Ran into the fair whilst swimming through the sea.
All the rides looked fun
As they glistened in the sun,
But fun can turn to fright, so take care.

Brightly adorned with feathers and flair
Sat all of the rides at the annual fair.
Freddy was warned 'bout the dangers they brought,
Yet it was a thrill that young Freddy sought.
Beware, my Freddy, beware!

Scalawag Pete
Sat in his seat
With rod and hook and bait in hand
Waiting silently, patiently
For something to bite.

Fred did not see the sharpened point
That hid below the orange cheese;
All it takes is just one bite
To get you hauled out of the seas.

A Poem About Apples

A is for apple, that's good enough for me.
P is for pineapple, which has the word apple in it.
P is for pine tree, which has pine in it but not apple.
L is for lemurs; they don't eat apples.
E is for endocrine system; it tells you to do things like eat apples.

More Risks

Wearing a backpack is one of the greatest risks one can ever take in their life. I usually avoid wearing a backpack and instead, I carry all of my belongings from class to class with my arms. Anyway, let me explain about the backpack. It's behind you (which is why the "back" part of backpack is there) so you can't see what it's doing. It could all of a sudden tighten its straps and strangle you three-quarters of the way to death. That's enough for brain damage. Also, some people might put unwanted things in your 'pack like a cabbage or some crayons. Cabbages have bugs and sand in them, and sometimes they don't get all of the bugs out at the cabbage factory, and I'm afraid of being swarmed and covered by ants and flies and spiders and other cabbagey bugs. Crayons are made of wax, and bees make wax, and sometimes, bees get caught in the wax at the crayon factory. The wax acts as a preserving agent, so the bees are basically in suspended animation until they burst into life and sting you 3946723 times. Not only that, they are the WRONG COLOR because of the dye.