Please Be Cautious...

It's Ms. Coco Brown a.k.a. Ms. No Tonsels[sic] with her free mixtape "Pre-cum." It contains soon-to-be classics such as "Pussy Poppin Muzik," "Pussy Squirt," and "Make it Nut," the last of which goes by a number of equally interesting titles: "Make it Nutt," "Make This Pussy Nut," and "Stick It in My Butt (Make It Nutt)."

The entire tape is riddled with frequently (over)used sound effects in the hip-hop genre such as the airhorn/siren, glass breaking, machine gun fire, and bomb explosion. While just about all of these songs are replete with said sound effects, they occur mostly at the beginning and end of each song to act as a sort of transition. I rather like it, as it alerts me to the fact that a new song is about to play. In case you forgot Ms. Coco Brown's alternative name (Ms. No Tonsels[sic]), she conveniently mentions it numerous times throughout all of her songs--almost as much as the sound effects are repeated, as if she were trying to metaphorically portray her self-objectification by diminishing the value of her name through ad nauseam repetition.

There is a bit of discrepancy as to Ms. Coco Brown's tonsels[sic], or lack thereof. While her name clearly states that she has no tonsels[sic], in the song "Pussy Squirt" she states that she is "going to make [a young man] fuck [her] tonsels[sic] out," implying that she, in fact, does have them. Perhaps she received the name after said young man fucked her tonsels[sic] out.

The song "Fuck My Face" is a well-crafted lyrical masterpiece and by far the best track on the tape. It contains many clever turns of phrase such as, "This pussy slippery when wet, so don't fuck around," and, "Tip my Hello Kitty; She shaved aww looking pretty," as well as a number of carefully constructed similes--comparing herself to lasagna ("pussy layered like lasagna") and the Trix rabbit ("Yes, I'm like that silly rabbit. Coco Brown--that bitch do tricks").

Ms. Coco Brown, I believe, is going to become a positive role-model for young women around the world. She preaches safe sex as well as (sort of) female empowerment (respect it like your mother). On the topic of safe sex, she states it quite eloquently: Ain't no smacking or no smashing unless you got a rubber.

While she states that she is "a five-star bitch," her tape has received only four stars on the site on which this tape is hosted.

The bottom line: Thank God it's free.